Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
You know you`re up really late at night when you turn on ESPN and 2 white guys are boxing!
I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
If you think your wife has a great sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes. Not the best idea a man ever had ;)
I like my coffee like I like my women, hot and a lot of alcohol in them
I grew up for this?
I went to McDonalds, put 5 dollars on the counter and said "Surprise me". Because I never get what I ask for anyway!
You don’t have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
I spend so much time on the internet, that the priest pronounced us husband and wi-fi.
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
I got so drunk last night I tried picking up every woman in the bar and now my back is killing me!
If couples who are in love are called `love birds.` Then couples who always argue should be called `angry birds.`
Just because I`m nodding my head at appropriate times while you`re talking doesn`t mean I give a sh!t about what you`re saying..