Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I did 26 situps this morning. It’s not a lot, but then again, how many times can someone snooze an alarm clock ?
Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
How to know you have a sunburn: Smack the spot. If you scream in pain, its a sunburn
It`s weird how after they couldn`t put Humpty Dumpty back together the King`s men were like "Let`s give the horses a shot at it"
It`s 2014, people. Isn`t it about time we put an end to all this `wake up in the morning and go to work` nonsense?
Its around this time each year that i just enjoy going outside and seeing my christmas lights already set up from the year before.
Why is it called a "personal trainer", instead of an "exercist"?
The worst about the weekend?? The ending part.
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
It`s so cute how you can throw balls right at kids faces in the Chuck E Cheese ball pit and they think you`re just playing.
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.
My boss told me that if I can`t show up sober then don`t bother coming to work tomorrow. Three day weekend!
I just realized that I haven`t done the "Hockey Pokey" in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it`s all about.