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Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
NEWS FLASH: Man arrested for having sex with a tree.....Police confirm he had wood!!!
Hardest question in a relationship, "What do you feel like eating?"
Ya know once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it´s hard to get it back in.
“I” before “E” especially after “P”. Mmmm pie
I have NEVER faked a sarcasm in my life ;)
I need a thingy to fix the thingy because the thingy came loose and the thingy is wiggly now. Do you sell those? -Me, at Home Depot
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
I`m going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn`t enough
How come we can put a man on the moon but we can`t made a smoke alarm that can differentiate between a house fire and cooking sausages?
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
Did you know? If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Packman!
One thing that I have never had in the glove box of my car, is a pair of gloves.
DiGiorno should start delivering, just to screw with people.