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that awkward moment when you`re scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep.
I like to imagine that braille on random public signs often says: “How did you know this was here?”
Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
Dramatically slamming a book shut upon finishing it was way more satisfying than switching my Kindle off and gently placing it on the table.
Smile, it confuses people. ;)
Hire a hitman is apparently not the correct answer to "what would you do if you won the lottery"
Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don`t know how to play chess.
You call it multiple personality disorder... I call it being mayor of the little town in my head!
Nice meeting you, but I forgot your name as soon as you said it...
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
Just bought two donuts without sprinkles...Diets are hard!
I think I really have an amazing butt, every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say,"what an a$$.."
Your so old, you knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don`t have to.