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You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
“A body at rest tends to stay at rest” should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.
Just so I`m sure to make friends, I like to walk in the bar carrying a handful of phone chargers.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
whoever said that there are no stupid questions was stupid
Do not keep all your work for tomorrow, always remember you can also do it the day after tomorrow.. Be lazy, Think crazy.
My favorite thing about working out is the part where I decide not to.
I thought we were both kidding when we made plans for me to watch your kid.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas…
Bored? Text "Our condom broke." to a random number
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
All my passwords are protected by amnesia.
There should be an "oh my god, shut up already" button.
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it
Apparently I`d rather debate in my mind whether or not to get up and pee than sleep.