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I hate having to work for a living. But I hate starving even more.
Just got a message that said "Hey, I tried to call you"...that`s your problem right there....you should have never tried that.
If you`re out running in jeans, I`m gonna go ahead and assume you just participated in a felony.
They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
Instead of calling in sick, call in well. Tell them how great you feel not having to go to work today.
So I didn`t want to wake up this morning and go to work. It`s not that I don`t like my job, it`s just that I like being lazy more.
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problems. 99% demons.
Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the `80s throwing them at Mario.
So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend.
Started working on my taxes today and learned why the form is called 1040. For every $50 I make, I get $10 and the gov`t gets $40...
CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he`s called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
I see dead people. Well technically they`re stupid people, but give me a few minutes
The majority of life`s greatest lessons are learned while observing your drunk friends.
HR says I`m not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(