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therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
It`s pretty stupid the way mornings have to come every morning.
Saw a billboard ad for potato chips that proudly claimed "There`s a lot of pride in every bag!" Hmmm...is "pride" another word for "air"?
Selfie... Because it`s important to realize that it`s not the photographer who is making you look ugly.
My personal fast food philosophy: If nobody knows you went to McDonald`s, you didn`t really go to McDonalds.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
I accidentally shoveled the sidewalk all the way to the bar again.
I sure did waste a lot of time as a kid practicing my autograph.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
"..all the king`s horses & all the king`s men couldn`t get Humpty together again" ... What guy thought horses might figure it out?
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me
Youth is wasted on the young.
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job.