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So vegetarians eat vegetables... I think I`m going to play it safe and avoid humanitarians.
Son to mom: why should I sweep the floor? Mom to son: do you want to be an Olympic Curl champion?
When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
"My name is Robert and I support apples." -- Bob for apples
Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing & they live for 150 years. Lesson learned
I don’t even know what I don’t know.
It`s so cold outside you can see your farts.
Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
Thought I was having deja-vu. But it turns out, I do the exact same things every day.
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
So... Where does one obtain minions?
Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?