Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I mixed coffee with Red Bull today..I got half way to work when I realized I forgot my car!
thinks my life is becoming a very complicated drinking game.
My friend told me that bigamy was having one wife to many. I thought that was called monogamy.
Bumper stickers are helpful for recognizing members of society you do not want to associate with.
“Get your panties in a bunch” would make a great slogan at Costco.
It`s too bad parallel lines never meet because they have so much in common.
What idiot named it a mugshot instead of a cellfie?
I thought we were both kidding when we made plans for me to watch your kid.
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
Just washed my car with the squeegee at the gas station.
In America, someone is shot every 15 seconds ... How is that person still alive?
Just seen this girl walk into a lamp post! I could have stopped her but that wouldn`t have been funny would it
I’m moving to Africa. Apparently there I can eat for 12 cents a day.
Doctor told me to lose some weight, and suggested walking.So no more drive through taco bell. Now I park 5 spaces away and walk in
My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.