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I just found out that checking your credit score actually LOWERS your credit rating. Seriously? That`s like every time you look in the mirror, you get a little bit uglier.
Why are there stitch marks on zombies? Who the heck is giving them medical attention?!
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
This nude beach would be great!...if I wasn`t the only one participating.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
Shouldn`t we get paid to use the self-service checkouts in supermarkets? It`s like we work there for a little while.
Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
Always believe a woman when she says, "you don`t really wanna know"
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?
The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.