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Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone.
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
My son asked me to explain women to him, so I bought him an XBOX game for his Playstation.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want. If my wife says it`s okay.
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
I`m not the cat lady type. I`m more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoe.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
I once wrestled an anaconda for 4 straight hours... Then I realized I was just masturbating.
I think I have 10 inches of Global Warming on my driveway.
Bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn`t been used at the liquor store since Friday.
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.
People who go to the store and buy the single roll of toilet paper must not have an optimistic view of their life expectancy.