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Nothing makes me turn off my car and start leisurely Facebooking than someone honking at me to pull out of a parking space.
I don´t like people who can´t make fun of themselves. It means more work for me.
If she asks what the weight limit is on your ceiling fan.... She`s a keeper!
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
When I got divorced, we split the house. I got the outside....
My fridge is so full of beer ... I`m going to have to drink my way back to the food or starve.
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness".
Anybody else have those FB friends that set up a FB account 4 years ago and posted once or twice and hasn`t been back on since? And you wonder how they can exist without a Life?
My doctor said I need to workout with dumb-bells. Would any of you like to go jogging with me?
The first rule of elevator club is don`t talk to other members of elevator club.
When I see a shoe on the side of the road I wonder if Cinderella is in a nearby house.
Confuse your coworkers today by telling them you`re going to the restroom to do a "number 3"
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.