Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
AA meetings would be better if AA stood for Alcohol Afterwards
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
After a while you just get used to people not understanding.
Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
This cashier looked at my 12 bottles of weed spray so weirdly, I suspect she`s never broken a lawnmower before.
No matter how many lives you have in Candy Crush, you’ll still never get your own back.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
I`ll never understand women. They hate when you ask their age, but get mad if you forget their birthday.
Ya know what I really hate about mornings? People start talking to me!
I`m starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.
Whether a Vacuum is on or off, it`s always collecting dust.
Saw a wasp in a spider web and I don`t know who to root for.
Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.