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“Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.
I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I`m checking Facebook and not taking pictures.
Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
You health nuts are gonna feel real stupid when you`re laying in the hospital dying of nothing.
Why isn`t a menu board at a coffee house called JavaScript?
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew..
I do 5 sit ups daily. It might not sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
I didn`t sleep well last night so this morning I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. Half way to work I realized I forgot my car.
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
How come there are never any restrooms in my dreams
Not clicking like on this status makes your a$$ look fat.
If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window.
Is bloodletting still in use today? Just thinking...I know a couple of people here that may be in need of some bloodletting