Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
Happy 1 year anniversary to the Lean Cuisine in my freezer!
If anyone could read my mind I`m pretty sure they`d be traumatized for life.
Shout out to metaphors. Without you there would only be like four songs.
My co workers put cookies on my desk, like they`re leaving a sacrifice for an angry god.
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s referred to as upper level management.
I was gonna call you... but I`m still sober.
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
One day I`ll look up from my phone and realize my kids put me in a nursing home.
I`m laying on my yoga mat making up fake poses to fit my current activity level. Right now I`m in "downward facing chalk outline".
I hope everyone takes my advice and never takes my advice.
Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
I`ve never heard an alarm going off on a car worth stealing.
Good thing I got a college degree I think as I put away the kid toys for the 49 billionth time