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I saw that! - Karma
I can`t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
Sometimes I feel like giving up...Then I remember I have a lot of motherf*ckers to prove wrong
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don’t be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn`t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
The girl at the Taco Bell drive thru gave me this “I know your high” look. I snatched my 37 crunchy tacos and got out of there.
Good morning friends … Wait … what the hell m I doing up this early?
No thanks, Inspirational guy, but I am only on Facebook for the jokes and the meltdowns.
Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I`m a valued customer at several grocery stores.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you`ll be really far away from me with your motivational nonsense.