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It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
Roses are red, dead ones are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself." ~5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you`re the valet. 3. Say yes.
I forget, on which side of my dinner plate am I supposed to set my phone?
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia, well he didn`t actually say that, but I could tell it was what the bastard was thinking.
You seem like a sweat person. Mind if I lick you to find out?
If your friends don`t make fun of you, they`re not really your friends.
All I ask for is a chance to prove money can`t make me happy.
Christmas time always make me blue :-(( and then red, then green, then oh wow.. presents...
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.
Scientists are saying that social media is making us less accepting and more aggressive. Whatever, a$$holes!