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I told you I was trouble. You should have listened to me instead of staring at my boobs.
I need to re-home a dog. It’s a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If your interested, let me know and I’ll jump over my neighbors fence and get it for you.
If only life was as easy as getting fat.
www.amish.com. How did this happen?
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
If I throw a stick will you leave?
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ? LOL JK, I have to pee.
Just got legitimately excited when I remembered I can pay a person to drive a pizza to my house
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
I`m no cactus expert, but I know a pr!ck when I see one
Man, the first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
I’ve never met a weekend that I didn’t like.
The easiest way to distract a woman is to show her a picture of herself.