Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The best nicknames are the ones people don`t know they have.
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
Yesterday I had to screw in a light bulb . Later, I crossed a road and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.
Turning on your lights and siren after you lose a drag race is just poor sportsmanship.
Life Rule #17: Always hold out your hand when someone is counting money in front of you, ...just incase.
Not to brag, but I’m pretty good in bed. I don’t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
I`m painting a blue square in the backyard... so Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
The beeping noise from microwave is always 100x’s louder at night.
I’ve thought about running away as an adult way more than I did as a child.
Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead. It`s pain only for others. It`s the same thing when you are stupid.
I dont hate you but, if you put `just about to jump off a cliff` as your facebook statuses i would poke you
No need to blind fold me, just hand me my phone and drive, I won`t have a clue how to get back here
Disneyland. The world’s biggest people trap, built by a mouse.
Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up.