Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If it weren’t for law enforcement and physics, I would be unstoppable.
Dang I didn`t make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row
I keep trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
I`ll call it a "smart phone" the day I yell, "Where`s my freaking phone?!" and it answers, "I`m here! Under your jacket!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
Just finished my first book yesterday. 450 pages. Man, that was a lot of coloring...
The wrong time to have a seizure is probably during a Harlem Shake Video.
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent.
If you have a mirror handy, kindly gaze into it and you will find your problem
Cop cars should play the jaws theme song
If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that`s still a sports injury, right?
Stealing other people`s statuses on Facebook is called a Facelift.
If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.
My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality.