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Wouldn’t it be great to hear a priest say “been there, done that” in reply to your confessed sins?
what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
Birthdays back then: Wow! Look at all these presents!. Birthdays now : Wow damn look at all these notifications!.
A pessimist thinks that all women are sluts. An optimist hopes that they are.
If I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die. I wouldn`t want to be me on that day.
Hardest question in a relationship, "What do you feel like eating?"
Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
Messing up a guy’s hair = cute. Messing up a girl’s hair = putting your life on the line.
Fun Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years.
Single women come home, see what`s in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what`s in the bed and go to the fridge.
It feels like one of them days..... ya know? When you wanna fart and blame the other person for it!
There should be an "oh my god, shut up already" button.
If by a blow job you mean blowing everything out of proportion then yes I totally rock at blow jobs.
It’s not pretty being easy.