Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people so where my tolerance level is at.
Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: pfft. I could think of like fifty reasons, I’m not falling for that.
There is something so unique about me, that even I can`t figure it out...
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.
To clear a pop-up ad online, I was just forced to agree that "I don`t care about being healthy and smelling clean."
Its around this time each year that i just enjoy going outside and seeing my christmas lights already set up from the year before.
Dear facebook, please quit asking me what`s on my mind. Eventually I`m going to get in trouble if I keep telling you.
Interviewer: Have any weaknesses? Me: Bullets I: No, I mean… M: Knives I: I don’t think y… M: probably evil dragons I: … M: Focusing.
Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
Why is the jolly Green giant so damn jolly
Looks like I’m in the doghouse again, but I don’t know why. All I said to the wife was, “Is there anything important you want to tell me before the World Cup starts?”
It’s amazing how everyone cries for free speech until someone says something that they don’t like.
Question everything...Or should you?
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.