Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can`t wait to be full of Christmas beer! I mean cheer. No, I definitely mean beer.
The best thing about the internet is how quickly you can offend the maximum amount of people with minimum effort
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
I will never understand why my fridge has a drawing of a carrot on the beer drawer.
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they`ll do nicely"
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.
I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
If you see me out somewhere and act like you didn`t, you should know that I ignored you first.
Sometimes in the morning while drinking my coffee, I think about all the people I will be pissing off.
I hate when someone texts me cause then I can`t post anything on the internet or they`ll know I`m ignoring them.
Hold on I`m about to count my money. Alright I`m done.
Releasing a long silent fart as I walk through first class on the way to my economy seat is definitely my favorite part of boarding an aircraft.