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You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
PRINCIPAL: are you the new english teacher? TEACHER: yes i are.
Today I learned not all people are appreciative of vetriloquism. Especially my gynecologist.
Happy "Another excuse to drink" Day!
Don`t blame the holidays, you were fat in August.
The only thing worse than "the one that got away" is the one that won`t go away.
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And some I’d love to punch them in the face.
My credit score is just a picture of me crying in the front yard of a nice house.
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
The awkward moment when you’ve already said “what?” three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."