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I don`t always play candy crush. But when I do, I have tourettes like a motherf*cker.
I`ve been knocking for ten minutes. Don`t people answer their bathroom windows anymore?
I accidentally ran over my neighbour`s cat........... Nine times....... just in case
There’s a good reason I’m up this late: because I have to wake up really early.
If you read the instructions carefully, the first step to making any microwavable lunch is to throw away the box and dig it out of the trash.
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
What scares me most is that some people think I actually know what I’m doing.
AT this stage in my life an ALL NIGHTER JUST means I didn`t have to get up and pee....
If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
I wish they all could be Jerry Springer girls.
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.
My therapist goes to her therapist five minutes after I leave.
I`ve spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can`t find his nuggets.
The problem with some people is that they’re alive.