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My interventions would be so much more effective if every single reason I drink wasn`t there
Hell hath no fury like me when Iām slightly inconvenienced and hungry.
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
The key to any successful marriage is separate TVs.
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
I don`t just burn bridges, I drain the lake, fill it with concrete, and build a shopping mall on that bitch!
I`m not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom.
It really freaks me out that I have a skeleton living inside me......
Who needs the weather network when you have Facebook.
None of my coworkers get why I have fishbowl with no fish. It`s because fish can`t survive in my secret reservoir of vodka.
The only solution to a problem is to find the source and Kill it.
The club sandwich, for when a knuckle sandwich just isn`t enough...
I`m at that "licking peanutbutter off a spoon" time to go grocery shopping point....
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....