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Hendrix didn`t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
According to cannibals it only takes one vegetarian to make vegetarian chili.
If you listen real closely to my kids arguing tonight, you`ll hear the sound of me pouring a glass of wine.
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
Its hotter than a three peckered billy goat!
I do take my job seriously; To make sure there are no day old donuts at the local coffees shop.
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.
Admit it, you have that one voice that you only use on animals and babies.
I should come with a warning label.
If there is anything I learned from 80`s movies it`s that I`m the best around, and nothing is ever gonna keep me down
Fat, single and ready for a Pringle.
Leaving the house on a Monday morning would be so much cooler if someone would yell "Aaaaand Action!" as I walk out the door.
To hell with the "dislike" button! i think we need a "who cares" button, a "WTF" button and a "STFU!" button. just saying.... Oh and a "lol" button because i just get tired of writing it! lol!
Dieting Tip, 1. Make a list of people who have a problem with your weight, 2. Cut them out of your life. 3. Enjoy having lost Hundreds of pounds of Idiots.