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Don`t be afraid to laugh at yourself you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
Maybe the reason Uncle Phil hated Will was because the first thing Will gave him was a $3700 cab ride bill from Philly to Bel-Air.
If you want your team to win a sporting event just tell me. I will root for the other team. That will guarantee a win for your team.
I can read Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Italian. As long as it`s written in english.
I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.
I need a better plan of action when my phone rings than throwing it.
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
The worst form of Alzheimer’s is when you walk out of the kitchen and forget to grab a beer.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.
This day will end with either wine or shopping. Probably both.
A 4-way stop is an IQ test you take in public.
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.
if sexyness, kindness, sweetness was a crime, You would be the world`s most wanted