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Somehow I thought growing up would involve more than staring at my phone
2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
Only in math problems you can buy 60 watermelons and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your house. Those bastads live forever.
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
When I die, bury me with a pack of smokes, no light. Where I`m going, there will have plenty of free fires to light from.
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs.
The only idea worse than New Coke was brown toilet paper...
I can`t help but feel important when someone says there`s a special place in hell for people like me.
YouTube is so addicting, I click on a music video and next thing you know I`m watching how to make ice cream.
Personally, I think failure should be an option
My wife just changed here facebook status from "Married" to "widowed", should I be scared?
My wife can suffer in silence louder than anyone I know.