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Who needs dance lessons when you`ve got alcohol?!
Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
I don`t have issues... I AM an issue
Back in my day, we didnβt have Instagram. We had to bore people in person with photo albums.
I maybe wrong but I doubt it.
Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he`ll donate $10 to Disaster Relief.
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." β Children
Timehop... reminding us that the stupid people we know today were just as stupid 5 years ago.
Nothing says "I`m unemployed" like wishing for snow on Facebook.
When I see a shoe on the side of the road I wonder if Cinderella is in a nearby house.
I like to think all pizzas are personal pizzas.
You have 600 friends on Facebook but you have to take your own picture of yourself for your profile photo.
Iβm a fan of saying YOUβRE WELCOME really loudly when people donβt thank you.
The EskimoΒ΄s allegedly have 52 words for snow. I have several words for snow also!