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K-Y should be called K-WHEN, because we already know why.
I’ve come to the realization that the trash goes out more than I do.
I just wanted you all to know that I`m leaving Facebook. The ride has been a blast and I`ve made a ton of friends. Your humor and wit is amazing. I`ll miss all of u, but I`ve decided I need to spend more time with my family...so see you after breakfast!!
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge. Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
The worst time to need sneeze is when you’re driving. The worst time to need to pee is when you’re driving and need to sneeze.
Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders... * How I learned this rule is not important.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of reasons why I drink in the first place?
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back
My grocery cart right now says ” I’m getting drunk and doing laundry tonight!” And also. “I like fruit.”
Sometimes I laugh so hard the tears run down my leg ;)
True self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn.
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often
Women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.
These Jehovah`s Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant.