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I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
Whenever I`m on the phone with someone I like to scream "WAIT DON`T HANG UP" right as they`re hanging up & then not answer when they call back.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I`m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
The downside of DVR is getting freaked out by tornado warnings from four days ago
I`ll call it a "smart phone" the day I yell, "Where`s my freaking phone?!" and it answers, "I`m here! Under your jacket!"
Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
It`s like my bank account doesn`t understand me at all.
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
Dance like no one´s going to put it on YouTube.
Sometimes I feel happy, but then the Oreos run out.
Sometimes I do totally awesome and amazing things just to throw people off.
So apparently RSVP-ing to a wedding invite with "Maybe next time" wasn`t the best response. Who knew?