Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
Whenever I`m on the phone with someone I like to scream "WAIT DON`T HANG UP" right as they`re hanging up & then not answer when they call back.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I`m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
The downside of DVR is getting freaked out by tornado warnings from four days ago
I`ll call it a "smart phone" the day I yell, "Where`s my freaking phone?!" and it answers, "I`m here! Under your jacket!"
Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
It`s like my bank account doesn`t understand me at all.
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
Dance like no oneΒ΄s going to put it on YouTube.
Sometimes I feel happy, but then the Oreos run out.
Sometimes I do totally awesome and amazing things just to throw people off.
So apparently RSVP-ing to a wedding invite with "Maybe next time" wasn`t the best response. Who knew?