Daily Silly Status

If you think you`re bad with words, imagine the first guy to say "There there" when consoling someone

What is the difference between a trapeze artist and a supermodel?. The trapeze artist has a cunning stunt.

My support group can outdrink your support group.

I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...

If it looks like a pig and walks like a pig, do me a favor & tell my ex girlfriend I said hello.

Next time I get a bunch of, "likes," on a comment I post on someones status/photo etc.. Im gonna edit my comment and change the whole comment to, "like this status if you would f*ck your father." Just to make anyone else who reads it from then on think ill about the people who liked it. ™

I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)

Is it so much to ask that everyone who ever wronged me be forced to leave the country and change their identity?

"It gotten SOOO cold in D.C., politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets!"

I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it`s obvious he had no idea how letters work.

Is anyone going to tell America`s funniest videos about YouTube?

Asking me if I’m hungry, is like asking me if I like money.

My wife just bought a $50 bottle of shampoo. So guys, party at my house this weekend because apparently we won the Lottery!!!

I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.

1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.