Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.
If you say "I slept like a baby" in front of me, I`ll ALWAYS assume you woke up every 2 hours, pissed yourself and cried for your mommy.
Unsettling sounds #23 - Ice-cream van after dark
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
You`ve been on more hotel pillows then chocolate mints.
just realised SATURDAY has the word TURD in it
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society.
With my background and genetics, you guys should be happy I am half as normal as I am.
If the shoe fits, shove it further up their a$$
I often ask myself "What`s wrong with me?" and the answer is ALWAYS "You can`t drink at work"
When we were kids, we didn`t have Pokemon Go. If we wanted to look for things that weren`t there, we would get stoned like normal people.
It’s a status….not your diary…
Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate you bye