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only 9530 days until retirement.
The awkward moment when you look both ways down a one way street.
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
Congrats on your secret admirer! Must be nice having someone who’s ashamed to admit they like you!
Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
Of course you don’t think you’re ignorant! That’s the definition of ignorance!
It must be really hard to judge wet t-shirt contests. I saw one recently, and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I was going to do stand up comedy years ago but then I thought ...Ugghhh, standing...
Putting on deoderant and colonge because you haven`t showered in days, is as about as useful as shutting the lid on a toilet after its overflowing.
You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a challenge. ;)
Today is National Fritters Day. I don`t know what that means, so I just went naked today. Gotta be something like that.
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
There`s nothing like the laughter of a baby....unless you`re home alone at 1 am...and you don`t have children...
at my age, the best part of waking up is the fact that I did wake up