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A box 5 lb. box of chocolates: $40, Valentines Day card: $3.75, not being yelled at for 35 minutes until the chocolate is gone: priceless!
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, and that’s how science works.
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?
My dad says that if I don`t stop typing so loudly, he`s gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
Married people always ask when you’re getting married like they get points for recruiting to their club of misery.
Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you`re better off staying home with no pants on.
Let`s share...you take the grenade and I`ll take the pin.
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don`t want to look at you.
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
If you added up all the time you waste on Facebook, think how much TV you could watch.
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
If booze isn`t the answer, then your question sucks.
If you never jumped from sofa to sofa as a kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.