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Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
when life gives you lemons; ask for tequila and salt
Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous ... You`re practically begging for typos.
I`m just a boy, standing in front of a girl; not listening to a f*cking thing she`s saying. But nodding, lots of nodding.
If you`re not procrastinating just a little, you`re not doing Saturday right.
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.
ATTENTION LADIES: I will now be downgrading expectations from someone I can love to someone I can tolerate. Act now while this amazing deal still lasts!
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :)
Good morning friends … Wait … what the hell m I doing up this early?
I’m so happy people can’t hear what I’m thinking.
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.
I don`t need a New Years Resolution, I`m already awesome!
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.