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If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
I mixed coffee with Red Bull today..I got half way to work when I realized I forgot my car!
Maybe my goal was to be a 35 year old loser on the Internet ... You don`t know.
I`m an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want
If you’re going to walk really slowly in front of me you should at least have the courtesy to have a slammin booty.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
If you`re camping and you have WiFi, you`re not camping.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!! (To all of my FB friends, please don`t read this until the appropriate day)
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
I`m using voice-to-text to post this status. All I do is talk and it makes a text out of it. It`s really cool... Hey! What are you doing? That`s my phone! Give it back! Come back here, you son of a...
"Love your friends, Not their sisters." & "Love your sisters, Not their friends." -By Mummy...
If Wal-Mart ends up selling mortgages, the trailer market will explode.
At my age, my biggest fantasy is to sleep through the night without having to pee every two hours.
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.