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To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
Collecting my thoughts… I almost have a whole set! ;)
Guy on plane : So, where are you going to? Me : I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.
If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 3 or 4 births before they throw you out.
Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I`d love to bring a guest.
Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?
Anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?
My best relationship advice: Make sure you`re the crazy one.
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
Orion`s Belt is a huge waist of space.
Husband for sale: 1972 model, white in colour, a bit hard on gas but comes with a spare tire.
Fact: if you give your boyfriend a bj each time you act crazy, he`ll not only forgive you,but eventually be thrilled when you act nuts.
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
You`re not unlucky. Bad things happen to you because you`re a dumba$$.
To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1) You tried your best. 2) I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.