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Finally did it. 25 inflatable mattresses later and I’ve finally turned my apartment into a bounce castle.
The voices in my head tell me not to listen to the voices in my head, and now I don`t know who to listen to anymore
You know it`s gonna be a sh!tty day when you put your bra on backwords and it fits better.
Appearing on several episodes of Cops doesn`t make you a TV star.
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
Give fat people a break. They have a lot on their plate.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
Last person to like this wins a prize.
You can always count on me to feel you up when you`re feeling down
Every member of my family is polite & courteous which I why our pantry has 17 boxes of cookies that contain exactly one remaining cookie
Waved to my ex today, next time I might use all my fingers
I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.
"I trust my boyfriend, I would never go thru his phone" -girls who can`t figure out boyfriend`s passwords