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What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
When the sign says: DO NOT TOUCH I read: Touch when nobody is looking.
If you can´t amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullsh*t
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?
When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?
I hate it when I think I`m buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they`re just REGULAR donuts...
If you’re happy and you know it, you’re probably exhausting to be around.
i hate it when other people hate the person i hate!!!
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts.
Gardening is awesome because it is one of the only ways a normal person can be persuaded into buying actual bags of poop.