Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s not stretching if it doesn`t involve crazy dinosaur noises.
My safe word is letsgetmarried.
I’m sick of closing out every job interview with “I was young. I needed the money.”
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
I can take care of my drunk friends, so the responsibility of having children doesn`t worry me.
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
Wow, I just melted a piece of ice by staring at it. Took a little longer than I thought it would.
Life before the internet was awful. Your friend would be wrong about a trivial issue during dinner and you just had to let it go
This century is already 15% over.
my girlfriend does that cute thing, where she doesnt exist.
Long story short, I love summaries
Isn’t it funny how people that talk too much also have annoying voices?
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.
Being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad.
It`s always the rednecks that know all the inner most conspiracies of the government.