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It`s just a mater of time before bathrooms will eventually be called Selfie Rooms
How ignorant do I have to be before I start experiencing bliss?
Don`t believe everything you think.
My worst ideas have all either started or ended with having no pants on.
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
Wow, I didn`t know my ex was into orgies until I saw the ad on Craig`s list I just posted.
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
I`m so broke right now if anybody robbed me they`d just be practicing
People say laughter is the best medicine, but I’d like to think a beer is the way to go.
Language is cool because it`s just a bunch of sounds, but put them in the right order & you can make someone cry or you can order tacos.
48 states observe daylight savings time. The other two clock block.
Back in my day it was called daydreaming…not ADHD.
You can get away with farting at the zoo because you can always blame the animals...
I`ve honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people