Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun.
A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
The only government agency that listens to you is the NSA.
Sarcasm, I put that sh!t on everything
Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.
I’m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn`t for any religious reasons. They couldn`t find three wise men and a virgin.
the ulitmate moment is when your identical twin says your ugly
As i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death i was like what da f**k am i doin here
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially since his name is Mike.
Just made eye contact with a guy while licking my lips ... I think I need to kill him now.
Mister Rogers didn`t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.