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If you watch COPS backwards it`s just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs
I`ve done a lot of things over the years ... But acting normal has never been one of them.
I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
2 words, 1 finger.
I can`t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
My dentist just told me I need a crown..... I know, right??
Every cigarette you smoke takes 5 minutes off your student loan debt.
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
You can tell a lot from a woman by her hands. For instance, if they`re placed around your throat she`s probably slightly upset.
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
I self medicate, therefore you live.
Considering that dogs pee to mark territory, they probably think humans are constantly battling over who gets to claim the toilet.
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!
Of course I`m crazy, but that doesn`t mean I`m wrong