Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ladys, if you`re in an argument with a guy and there`s no may to win. Start playing with your boobs...works every time.
Drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
I asked my kid “do you know why we have a Thanksgiving holiday?” He said, “Sure! It’s so we know when to start Christmas shopping!”
One time I snuck a whole rotisserie chicken into a movie, cause candy is for amateurs.
None of the animals I designed and invented are at the zoo. Do they even check the suggestion box?
Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew who has to follow the Kardashian’s 24/7.
I don`t get enough credit for not going on killing sprees.
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
It’s hard to tell if I’m dealing really well with life these days or if I just don’t give a sh!t.
Being an adult is the worst idea ever.
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
I swear I saw a guy earlier today that had no chin and all I could think about was, how does he put on pillow cases?
Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I`ll take lookout.
COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!
I just got pulled over by the US Border Patrol. The agent comes up to my window and says, "Papers?" I said, "Scizzors!! I win!!!." And drove off. Apparently the US Border Patrol didn`t think Paper beat Scizzors. Sore Losers!!