Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ...I sent it anyways.
I was getting really depressed today but then I realized double cheeseburgers exist
I`ve been struggling with my laziness. I can`t decide if I should sit down and do nothing or lie down and do nothing.
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
I try to live by two rules: 1. Don’t make fun of stupid people (they cant help it) 2. Don’t be stupid (people will make fun of you)
Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it`s like a high-five for your feet.
Saying “do I smell popcorn ” right after you fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath.
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would`ve been if he`d eaten fresh spinach instead of canned.
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.
My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party, so I invited All of her Friends over and made them clean the house.
I`m surprised kids haven`t found a way to trick or treat online yet
You know you have anger-management issues when you use an entire can of fly spray at point blank range to kill the tinest of moths...
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!