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People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
"i wasn`t that drunk"..Dude!you tied me to a chair and bitch-slapped me,yelling "where`s Harry Potter!!"
I bet Batman`s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he admits.
I have the same thought when I watch horror flicks as when I watch my wedding videos. I should have known who the psycho was much sooner.
Who`s further now, the Energizer Bunny or Voyager 1?
Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.
that strange moment when you get in the van and theres no candy...-Drew Balthaser
I spend so much time on the internet, that the priest pronounced us husband and wi-fi.
The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.
When my kids grow up, Iām going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say Iām bored & then just leave!
If ignorance is bliss then there`s a crap load of people in paradise
I don`t even know why chicks spend so much time and money on their hair when all guys look at is their tits.
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.
Sorry I hung up on you, I didn`t mean to answer the call.
I think girls secretly enjoy putting guys in the friend zone