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My favorite coffee in the morning is the one where no one talks to me while I drink it.
My girlfriend says I talk while I sleep... but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early.
Don`t sweat the small stuff. Don`t sweat the medium or large stuff either. Stop perspiring on everything. Take your sweaty a$$ elsewhere.
Home is where the pants aren`t.
This headache feels like dumb people
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
Ladies, life is short. So buy the shoes!
I would like to think I will die a heroic death, but it`s more likely I`ll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.
Walmart needs observation decks.
They should make Vodka ChapStick
I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(:
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...