Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent`s face there is no known comeback.
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and Facebook.
What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer, & a pregnant girl have in common? In each scenario, there`s a dumb guy who didn`t take it out in time.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who`s hot. It`s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
The perfect time for a snack is while you’re waiting for another snack to finish cooking.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "lottery winner".
The first thing I do when I get a telemarketer call is say "Let`s go off script. What are you wearing?"
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
What do 95% of men do after an orgasm? Delete their browser history.
I will literally spend $20 on food but won’t buy a $20 shirt.
Starbucks isn`t really that expensive compared to how much Victoria`s Secret charges per cup.