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Worries about the economy grow again after the world`s biggest yacht-selling company announce a drop in sails
Please pay me in cash. I`m not trying to hide money from the IRS, I`m trying to hide it from the MRS.
Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn`t have.
I`ve learned to take life as it comes...straight with no chaser.....
This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.
I took my family to Sea World this weekend, but i wasnt allowed in. Apparently you cant take your fishing rod.
There is no greater stress than the stress of a guy who forgot his phone & left it at home with his wife.
I always pick up a huge cucumber up at walmart and yell to my wife "you said you wanted the biggest one right" Because I`m a great husband
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
You know it´s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
I feel like I have not told enough people lately to kiss my mother f*cking a$$.
Nothing like working out to make you feel like you deserve that burger and fries.
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you were able to steal 12 of his hoodies.
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.