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Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
The worst part of being naked is not having pockets.
I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.
Remember kids- Respect your fathers! Besides, before you came out of your moms, you came out of your dad.
John has 35 candy bars. If John eats 27 of them what does he have? .... Diabetes. John has diabetes.
You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it`s acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch.
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge??
There`s a sucker born every minute, but swallowers are harder to find.
The only sit up I do is the one I use to get out of bed.
So I turned my phone onto " airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst transformer ever!
If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.
If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair with them....its like expecting a lion not to eat you because you don`t eat lion.
"That`s close enough..." ~Government worker
Try this... When leaving a fancy restaurant tell the people coming in "I recommend you try the donkey, snail or the squirrel".
When I text someone and they don`t text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from the excitement.