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One man`s sarcastic answer, is another man`s stupid question
Girls are too sensitive. She said she was having twins and I said, "At least you`ll finally have 2 kids by the same father."
Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
Someday, somewhere, somehow I’m going to do something.
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
LSD makes users lose weight` That makes sense, it`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
Apparently dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 53 in a 35.
I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate, but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
I`m hoping to avoid a situation where I have to dance to save my own life.
I`m no expert, but I would guess the internet really affected encyclopedia sales.
Homes are 750 square feet larger today than they were 30 years ago. Unfortunately, so are most Americans.
My coworkers sending dirty messages to other coworkers when I leave my computer unlocked is why I have trust issues. ... and dates.
Learning to "stop drop and roll" in elementary school lead me to believe catching on fire would be a much more frequent problem in life.