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Another beautiful morning I wish I was sleeping through.
Everything happens for a reason. That`s why I drink to everything!
I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don`t have great childing skills either.
"I`m only having one" ...said by many, practiced by none.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
You are by far my smartest and best looking friend on Facebook.
Find someone who is honest, laughs when you make fun of them, and then give each other orgasms.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming... 1. Whenever you`re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you`re right, shut up.
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
When someone walks away from me shaking their head, I totally agree.
I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I`m confused about how many at night?
Turns out a At Home DNA Test is not a good baby shower gift.
Money isn`t the key to happiness ... Wait a minute, I`ll just pay to have a key made.
all joking aside, think how many babies might be created tonight on valentines day