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They might want to put a picture of that airplane on a milk carton.
I think the next Star Wars movie should go Country! I would be excited to see Garth Vader.........
Life would be so much more fun if there were random Dukes of Hazzard style car ramps along the drive to work.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich?
I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
exercise........you mean extra fries
Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.
I just broke a light bulb. Damn, is that 7 years of bad ideas.
Be careful when you`re watching a movie with your wife. You`re gonna get blamed for whatever the guy in the movie does.
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
Golf is finally starting to pay off. I just signed a contract with Nike for a large sum of money in return for agreeing never to be seen playing with any of their equipment.
if drinking destroys your memory .... what does drinking do ?
Being human is expensive and exhausting.