Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
is available for rebound sex.
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
Got this super hard game on my phone called Bank Of America. You only get a power up every 2 weeks? Need cheat codes
Whenever a buddy of mine wants to borrow something, I remind them that everything I own has touched my balls.
Feeling pretty good about myself today so I`m going to go meet up with an ex-girlfriend to bring me back down to normal
Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there’s a giant dog with a tiny woman in its purse.
Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window.
Do me a favor if someone tells you they don`t like me , tell them I don`t like them either.
If anyone tells you, you have ADHD. Pay no attention.
My wife told me to strive for perfection, so I divorced her and started dating a swimsuit model.
My mother is my travel agent for guilt trips.
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired