Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just passed the local college and saw 3 very fit young ladies with very tight yoga pants walking to class...I have never been so motivated to return to college.
Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
I like to finish all of my drive thru orders with, "And that`s for here."
Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly and for the same reason...
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
What did the Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? Something in Japanese,
If it doesn`t include antidepressants, they shouldn`t call it a Happy Meal.
20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
But what if bygones want to be something else? ;)
A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder.
Not to brag, but I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
If your friends can accurately guess your age, you need to find dumber friends.
If you need me I`ll always be stuck behind the person who doesn`t know how to use the CVS self-checkout aisle.
Using Romeo & Juliet to express how in love you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you were ****** before you got there.