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You know the fun part of your life is over when people around you are getting pregnant on purpose.
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
I mixed coffee with Red Bull today..I got half way to work when I realized I forgot my car!
Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn`t sing it out loud in public
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
Don`t worry about old age, it doesn`t last that long.
I don`t have a drinking problem, I just celebrate everything! Like the fact that shirts have armholes, I`ll be celebrating that tonight.
If you receive an e-mail that says: ``FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS`` Don`t open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
If you’ve never pretended a Cheeto is a tiny caveman club, we can’t be friends.
I would’ve slept my way to the top years ago if it actually involved sleeping.
About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
Underachieving Sunday through Wednesday, overachieving Thursday through Saturday.
Hey baby, wanna come to myspace and twitter my yahoo `till i google all over your facebook?
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"
If you live up be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people… like claim you ate a pinecone every single day.