Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Salad tastes pretty good once you add some pizza and get rid of the salad.
You know something bad is about to happen when someone says "Hold my beer and watch this."
ASKHOLE: A person who constantly ask for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them
Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
Are you tired of every day being the same? Congratulations, you’re an adult!
My wife is going to the hair salon today so for the next few hours I will be practising my reaction.
You can look at some people and instantly know they’re only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use leaves. Just kidding, but my son learned a big lesson about leaving his clothes on the bathroom floor.
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
My winter wardrobe consists of my summer clothes layered on top of one and other.
I can tell by your boobs that you`ve never seen a bar tab.
I`m going crazy! Get in, you`re riding shotgun!
There are sick days, paid holidays, and vacation days. What about "Don`t have any gas to make it to work days"
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.