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Do you know what would really be fun? ... No really.. If you know, tell me.. I`m bored to death.
They don`t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program
If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don`t want it.
When I was growing up the TV was my nanny.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
Was going to watch the presidential inauguration today, but found something more interesting on a different channel. Watched "How cow farts affect the ozone layer" on The Science channel.
I don’t know what it is but, it’s on sale.
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
Whenever someone says to me “Things could be worse” I punch them in the face and say “Like that?”
You know you are the ugly one if they ask you to take the photo.
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
I`ve seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!