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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
Exercise... the poor person`s plastic surgery
"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
Driving with your gas tank door open is the equivalent to having your zipper down.
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
Dear Mother Nature, I would like to cancel my monthly subscription please… Urs Sincerely, 100% OF ALL WOMEN IN THE WORLD!
Kids are like debit cards. I get yelled at when I accidentally leave them at the store.
Is it so much to ask that everyone who ever wronged me be forced to leave the country and change their identity?
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment...
Apparently taking a nap does not qualify as "doing some undercover work"
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.
I entered what I ate for lunch into my calorie counting app and it uninstalled itself.
You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancee by the way he hasn`t murdered her
No one will ever look at you the way I do ... But thats probably because no one will ever do it from the tree outside your window