Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
Saw a girl with three lip piercings, took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain
People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I`m roofing.
Love is grand. Divorce is 100 grand.
Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
The Great Wall of China has brought more foreigners than it has kept out.
I have an oven with a "stop time" button. It´s probably meant to be "stop timer" but I don´t touch it, just in case.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
"Dora" only rhymes with "Explorer" if you`re from Long Island, New York
Cigarettes have warning labels because they are dangerous and addictive yet vaginas are allowed to just roam around freely.
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I`m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split
I was trying to think of something really deep to post on Facebook this morning. The Mariana Trench comes to mind.
To any ex-military that live on my street I apologize for whatever messages we may be sending, 2yo has discovered light switches