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Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "there´s one."
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
I like you as a friend. Well, more like as a friend of a friend.
I love when people dig their own grave. It saves me so much time.
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
I thought about exercising all day long. I am so exhausted.
May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard.
Don’t expect a “bless you” after the 4th sneeze…get your self together
I am having one of those days where my middle finger answers every question.
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don’t f*cking deserve string cheese.
Sorry I`m late, my alarm didn`t go off, because I didn`t set it ... because I don`t like coming here
If you can`t say something nice about someone, you probably know the same people I do.